Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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