i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
