she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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