if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize