I hate all girls vehemently.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize