Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
