It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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