Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
