i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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