Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
