Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Your cock deserves a montage
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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