I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
