i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We got so high we made milksteak
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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