you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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