K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
