go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
