Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize