I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
