well I can't set my house on fire every night
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize