it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He felt like a one man threesome
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize