doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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