I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
