remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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