he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
