VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
