that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize