thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
