Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My ass is underappreciated
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
