Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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