Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
