Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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