you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
