What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
