I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
