"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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