Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
