I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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