I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
