i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
