Sry I called you an 8
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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