he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
