do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
