6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
