Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
