I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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