Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
