break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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