On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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