I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
