Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
