So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
