I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
