she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
