I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
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