Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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