my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you had me at cake vodka
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
