So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize