there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
