i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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