So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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