I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
